FANDREW

To Alyssa: He likes watching Glee? So, your boyfriend’s gay, so is mine, no big deal.

Can you please not call me and tell me that you’re ‘tweaking’ your ’stuff’?

Alyssa: You got an iPhone?

Andrew: Yes, I wanted to be douchier.

Sally: What happened to Tila Tequila?

Andrew: Her boyfriend got arrested for strangling her.

Sally: Oh my god!

Andrew: And the worst part is, she’s not dead.