March 27, 2009
March 25, 2009
Andrew: All right, well, I’m gonna go to lunch, Alyssa.
Alyssa: I’m sorry I can’t go!
Andrew: Well, you know what I’m gonna get for lunch?
Alyssa: A tuna melt?
Andrew: All of the tuna melts.
[Ed. note: In a bizarre coincidence, Pax actually ran out of tuna melts that day. The jury is still out as to whether Andrew really did buy all of them.]
March 24, 2009
You look like a French mom from the 1970s. Do you think they inserted sparkle into you when they took out your kidney?
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen me around a celebrity, but I lose complete control of myself and my bodily functions. Like when I met Kerry Washington, and I thought she was going to have security remove me from the building.
March 23, 2009
Andrew: Bless you!
Sally: [sneezes again]
Andrew: Sorry, you only get one.
March 21, 2009
Andrew: I hate this line.
Matt: I just wish the locals came more often.
Andrew: That’s what she said… if she were travelling.
March 20, 2009
Somebody said “kitten” on The Real Housewives last week, and I thought I might add that to my repertoire of ridiculous sayings. Mainly because I want people to know I’m super gay instantly.
Andrew: I guess not!
Alyssa: He’s just jealous there’s no TomFan.com.
Andrew: What’s the point? There’d be no entries.
[Ed. note: Ohhh, snap!]